Negotiating with Clients
What do I have to do with a client?
Nothing you're not comfortable with. It should always be your own decision to offer or withhold services. You should feel able to refuse a client or a particular sex act at any time. You should never feel obliged to have unsafe sex or to use alcohol or drugs with a client. Just because he's paying you doesn't mean he can do anything he wants.
How do I deal with a client who wants me to do something I don't want to do?
Some clients may complain if you suggest oral with a condom; others may press for you to provide bareback sex. What are you going to say to combat that? If they nag you, are you going to cave in or stand your ground? Always keep in mind what you are comfortable with. Are you genuinely willing to make an exception? If you say no and later say yes, will he think he can get away with other things too? Circumstances may vary, but whatever course of action you decide to take, make sure he knows you're in control. Just because he's paying you doesn't mean he gets to cross your boundaries. Be confident and assertive. Prepare yourself for some of the more common reasons men give for not wanting to use condoms. Here are some suggestions of things you might hear, and responses you could give. See if you feel comfortable using these, or modify them to better suit you.
Him: I'm clean, you don't need to use a condom with me.
You: This is for your safety and mine.
Him: Don't you trust me?
You: Trust isn't the point, people can have infections without realising it.
Him: It doesn't feel as good with a condom on.
You: I'll feel more relaxed if we use one, and if I'm relaxed then we'll both enjoy ourselves more.
Him: I'm allergic to latex.
You: That's not a problem, I have non-latex condoms/dams.
Him: I don't stay hard when I use a condom.
You: I'll help you put it on - then you'll stay hard.
Him: It just isn't as sensitive with a condom.
You: Maybe that way you'll last even longer and that will make up for it.
Him: Putting it on interrupts everything.
You: Not if I put it on for you...
Him: I'll pull out before I come.
You: Pre-cum can carry infections too.
Him: Just this once!
You: Once is all it takes - and I have a professional reputation to think about.
Fresco from the Casa del Centenario in Pompeii. No one is really sure if the erotic paintings on the walls of Pompeian brothels were to illustrate the services available or merely to excite the clients.
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